When you’re driving down the road and see those flashing blue lights in your rearview mirror, what’s the first thought that pops into your mind? If you’re like most people, you get an uneasy feeling in your stomach and think, “Uh-oh. What did I do?” The thought that the police officer might be pulling you over to tell you something simple, such as that your taillight is out, rarely crosses your mind. That’s because when a person of authority suddenly makes an appearance or asserts him/herself, it’s human nature for those around that person to have a fear response triggered and to jump to the worst case scenario, as in, “I did something wrong.”
If you’re a leader, chances are your staff feels that same status differential with you, and they translate it as fear. So when you casually ask a staff member, “Can you please come to my office for a moment?” Or when you’re in a meeting and defensively respond to an employee’s comments with, “But that’s not my understanding of things,” Or when you repeatedly interrupt your staff member as they are speaking, you’re triggering the fear response in the person, just as the flashing blue lights in the rearview mirror do.