The long awaited results of the much hyped T-shirt contest, proudly presented by Kevin Bush



The response to this contest was phenomenal! While there were a few submissions with generic logos, the time and effort obviously put forth by many of the contestants was unexpected. Without further ado, here are the results.

Most shameless use of a child: The winner in this category is Jeff Rhinehart owner of The Rock Company, in Cortland, N.Y. His willingness to exploit his daughter Abigal to promote his business worked. Cute kid.

Best use of a G-string: The winner in this category is Irish Construction, from St. Louis. Shirt designer and office manager Felicia O'Connor showed true grit in her desire to win this award. Plasterer April Silverman shows off an impressive set of guns while modeling their logo reading "Eire" which means "Irish" in Gaelic. Surrounding this are the words "plaster" "stucco" "brick" and "concrete." Sadly, April's request we not cut her "t-bone" out of the picture had to be disregarded. However, said "t-bone" did find its way onto my desk.

Submission that elicits the most emotion: No words necessary. The shirt designer is Lee Pelletier, president of Commercial Wall Systems Inc., of Westminster, Mass. The model is Anthony Cosenze, son of CWS Office Manager Joanne Landry.

Most confused model award: This picture was taken of Boyd Fisher, owner of Fisher Plastering, of Farr West, Utah, while looking for his parrot after a long night of drinking margaritas. Boyd made time in his busy schedule to not only design this shirt, but also find this snappy hat to go along with the ensemble.

Best overall, third runner up:

Appleton Lathing Corp., Neenah, Wis.

Design by owner Timothy VanWyk

Modeled by Rob Larson and Don Springhetti

It's obvious Tim spent some time designing these shirts. Actually there were two submissions. The pre-job shirt read:

"Your mission should you decide to accept it, is to install a 5-story, state-of-the-art hospital in 12 months. This will be the biggest job you have ever done. You will be asked go faster than you have ever gone before. Your quality must be better than it was before. The drywall involved laid end to end will pave one lane of HWY 41 from Green Bay to Milwaukee. The drywall beads would stretch from Monasha to Fond du Lac across Lake Winnabago. There is enough steel stud and track required to build 33 modern homes. The Fry Trims will cost more than your vehicle. The ceiling tile installed would cover the playing surface of the Timber Rattler Stadium five times.

THIS IS YOUR MISSION

FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION

IT CAN BE DONE

(This T-shirt will self-destruct in 5 seconds)"

After completion proud workers wore the following:

"My Company did the Drywall at Mercy Medical.

Over 185 miles of metal studs & track

2 miles of corner bead

Over 500,000 square feet of insulation

And enough drywall to cover Lambeau Field 31 TIMES!!

And all I got was this lousy T-shirt"

Best overall, second runner up:

Sparlin Drywall Co., Pinon Hill, Calif.

Design by owners Mike and Jackie Sparlin

After failing to find an artist capable of drawing what they envisioned, Mike and Jackie decide to do it themselves. Nice job. It is obvious many hours of your youth were wasted reading Mad magazine ?.

Best overall Grand Prize winner:

THE MUD MAN, Mike Sparrow, Fort Smith, Ark.

Design by Precision Graphix

Screen printing by Action Printing

Butt model Mike Sparrow

Mike writes:

"Here's my shirt. I very much like the Adventures In Drywall, if you guys aren't drywallers, you've hung around them too much. Take a close look: The dog, beer and the truck are true, but you left out a few other things. Like having been arrested, being unable to get a suit-and-tie job, having done body work on your truck with quick-set, etc.

"Starting on the front of the shirt. When we (drywall finishers, mudders, mud monkeys, mechanics, mud rats) go into a bank, we never get credit for what trade we're in. I finally got tired of hearing, "Hey are you a painter or a plasterer?" So I tell them my name is Mike Sparrow and I raise pigeons. Some get it, some don't. Mostly I get a look like 'gross,' especially if I have mud on my face.

"Now, to the back of the shirt. This is my best side. Hey, drywallers need credit also for the semi-crack show. It's not just for plumbers. By the way, I posed for the behind shot. Notice the 'Mud Beer.' Hey, Homer Simpson has Duff Beer, and Drew has Buzz Beer right?"

The MUD MAN-"Mud On"

P.S. Drywall exists in Arkansas too!

Congratulations go out to this year's winners. For those of you who submitted less than creative entries ... there is always next year. You have a whole year to come up with something good.

As you may have noticed, I'm writing solo now. Bill has gotten a national position and is too busy to even drink with me now, let alone write this column. I wish him well, and hopefully when he is filthy rich and powerful, he will let me ride on his coattails. I will be contributing bi-monthly now. It will continue to be your forum to voice what's going on in the wonderful world of drywall.

Remember: Drywall can be an excuse for you to be creative and get your mug in a magazine.